We Can't Go Alone

“We Can’t Go Alone”

December 8, 2024 Cobleskill United Methodist Church, Pastor Anna Blinn Cole

Luke 1:39-45 | Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Second Sunday of Advent

Luke 1:39-45

Mary Visits Elizabeth

In those days Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the hill country, where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leapt in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the child in my womb leapt for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfilment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.’

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

The Value of a Friend

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

I read in the paper this week that our bowling alley at the old Best Western may be reopening in the near(ish) future as that hotel is getting fixed back up after a long time.  It will be good to have a bowling alley back in Cobleskill.  But I’m almost positive that bowling in 2025 when the alley reopens won’t be anything like bowling was in the 1960s when it was built.  And here’s why.  Even though more people bowl today than ever (it’s actually the second most popular played sport in the United States), the number of people who bowl in leagues has decreased.  And not by a little.  More people bowl alone than they bowl together.

I bet bowling isn’t exactly how you expected me to start my sermon today, but it makes an interesting point.  In his book called Bowling Alone Robert Putnam, way back in 2000, noticed that bowling trends mirrored other dynamics in American life and he sounded the first alarms that community in America was a shadow of what it used to be.  Social groups that had for a long time been the bedrock of American strength and society were universally declining.  Groups like the parent teacher associations, Rotary, volunteering with Scouts or Red Cross, labor unions, churches, Masons, League of Women Voters, the Elks, the Lions, you name it.  If it was an organization that depended on face-to-face people interactions, it was probably in decline.   And that was 24 years ago.  

The book Bowling Alone sounded the alarm bells in the year 2000 and they haven’t stopped ringing.  In fact, we have gotten so “good” at doing things by ourselves that in 2023 the US Surgeon General declared loneliness an epidemic.  Not because doing this alone is actually good at all.  But because our increasingly fragmented and digital society has led to a nation whose physical and mental health is suffering so much that the health effects are akin to a wide-spread disease.

Why are people more people lonely now?  

I’m sure there are as many answers as there are people in this room because loneliness is a very personal experience.  Surveys say technology plays a big part.  When we hold the information age at our fingertips it’s difficult to control our impulses for more.  More entertainment.  More news.  More answers.  More content.  The dopamine addiction tells us that digital content makes us satisfied, but it’s an illusion.  

Loneliness has also escalated because the pace of life has escalated.  We move more often.  We change jobs more often.  We live further away from our family.  We have changing ways of communicating with each other when we do live far apart.  We can even feel lonely when we’re surrounded by people because the quality of our relationships isn’t typically very strong.  

Add to these cultural changes a season of pandemic and social distancing that we’re still carrying the effects of.

I’m not here today to give a lecture on loneliness.  Because the truth is I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know.  But what I can help us to do is to use the season of Advent to point us back to the scripture, to the story of preparation for Christ’s birth, where we can see that loneliness is not a modern invention.  

Last week we heard the angel come to announce to Mary that she would be having a baby.  This was shocking to Mary on many levels because she wasn’t married and she didn’t feel worthy.  And because of both of these things, we can almost guarantee that she felt lonely.  This week’s scripture tells another famous part of the story, Mary with Elizabeth.  The tender moments they share as they recognize their shared journey.  But the transition from last week’s Annunciation to this week’s togetherness is worth highlighting. 

Luke 1:39 says “In those days [that is, right after the Annunciation] Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the hill country.

The scripture doesn’t outright say: Mary was scared. Mary felt alone. Mary needed someone who could understand.  But put another way, we could read: Mary runs away from her home to a place half a country away in Judea.  It wasn’t so much where she was going, though.  It was to whom was she going.  Mary, the teenager caught in a scary situation, likely felt alone, and so she ran to someone who she could trust.  

The moment she entered the house of Elizabeth, she stopped running.  Mary knew that she couldn’t go alone.  She needed people around her who would support her in this weird season she found herself in and she ran until she found them.

…

Look around yourselves.  Somehow in spite of an epidemic of loneliness you are also in the process of finding your people.  We’re not perfect but we’re figuring this out.  Together.  When we open ourselves to the possibility that God may be doing something in our lives, we are drawn, like Mary, to search out and find the people who are on the same journey.  

Building an authentic community in 2024 is harder than it used to be. But finding people who show up for one another whether it’s to sing together or share their grief together or ride Christmas floats together is a gift we can’t take for granted.  

I want to share a story-like poem that a poet named Naomi Shihab Nye wrote a few years back.  It’s called: 

Gate A-4

Naomi Shihab Nye

Wandering around the Albuquerque Airport Terminal, after learningmy flight had been delayed four hours, I heard an announcement:"If anyone in the vicinity of Gate A-4 understands any Arabic, pleasecome to the gate immediately."

Well—one pauses these days. Gate A-4 was my own gate. I went there.

An older woman in full traditional Palestinian embroidered dress, justlike my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing. "Help,"said the flight agent. "Talk to her. What is her problem? Wetold her the flight was going to be late and she did this."

I stooped to put my arm around the woman and spoke haltingly."Shu-dow-a, Shu-bid-uck Habibti? Stani schway, Min fadlick, Shu-bit-se-wee?" The minute she heard any words she knew, however poorlyused, she stopped crying. She thought the flight had been cancelledentirely. She needed to be in El Paso for major medical treatment thenext day. I said, "No, we're fine, you'll get there, just later, who ispicking you up? Let's call him."

We called her son, and I spoke with him in English. I told him I wouldstay with his mother till we got on the plane and ride next toher. She talked to him. Then we called her other sons justfor the fun of it. Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a whilein Arabic and found out of course they had ten shared friends. Then Ithought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian poets I knowand let them chat with her? This all took up two hours.

She was laughing a lot by then. Telling of her life, patting my knee,answering questions. She had pulled a sack of homemade mamoolcookies—little powdered sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates andnuts—from her bag—and was offering them to all the women at the gate.To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like asacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the mom from California, thelovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same powderedsugar. And smiling. There is no better cookie.

And then the airline broke out free apple juice from huge coolers and twolittle girls from our flight ran around serving it and theywere covered with powdered sugar, too. And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—had a potted plant poking out of her bag,some medicinal thing, with green furry leaves. Such an old country tradition. Always carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.

And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and I thought, Thisis the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in thatgate—once the crying of confusion stopped—seemed apprehensive aboutany other person. They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women, too.

This can still happen anywhere. Not everything is lost.

Naomi Shihab Nye, "Gate A-4" from Honeybee. Copyright © 2008 

by Naomi Shihab Nye. 

…

In the moment she heard any words she knew, she stopped crying.  

This is the world I want to live in, too. 

And it’s not too late.  It’s never too late.  We are living through times right now where a majority of those who say they are lonely also say they lack a spiritual community.  They feel like they haven’t found anyone speaking in a language they recognize about hope and unconditional love.  

This can still happen.  It’s never too late.  Look around yourselves and lean into this community where you are finding a place to be yourself in people that will walk this journey with you.  And then look out around you and find those who are crying into a world because they feel like no one understands or sees them.  God’s love through community is like a candle flame.  It doesn’t diminish when you share it.  The light only grows brighter.  

Prayer after Message: 

O God, we believe that you are with-us God:

a God who walks with us in the valley,

dances with us on the mountaintop,

sings with us through the night

and rejoices in the morning.

We believe you

wired us for relationship,

saying to creation on the very first week,

“Humans should not be alone.”

Therefore, in an effort to be who you call us to be,

we strive to live like the Trinity—

connected, united, and centered.

We believe in the power of community.

We commit to learning each other’s names.

We choose to journey with each other,

like Ruth with Naomi. Like Mary and Elizabeth.  Like Naomi Shihab Nye and her new friend in the airport.

We remember that no one can go through life alone.

Thanks be to God, for lighting our way.

Peace and Grace,

Pastor Anna